Shower Etiquette #4 – The Responsible Party

The duty of throwing the party falls to the maid (married? matron) of honor. She is – at least traditionally – the person chosen by bride-to-be to help her with the preperations for the wedding. A bridal shower, while not an obligation, is a chance for the bride-to-be to relax and enjoy a moment before the actual wedding.

As we noted elsewhere, the act of throwing a shower party comes from the dowry. Dowries as we all know where a means for a family to ensure their daughter’s married life started with a certain stability. Think what you may of the dowries of old, today’s showers have little in common with such practices. While it is customary for guests to bring gifts that will be helpful in the home that main focus today is fun!

With couples waiting longer until they marry, and having more financial stability on their own the various household items that are tradtionally given may be slightly off the mark. A recent study that asked couples over thrity what they needed for the home turned out to be rather facinating. Many of those that took part in the survey responded that they would actually have to give up some household items. The reason for this was because of the merging of two households rather than the formation of a new one.

If this is the case for your wedding couple you may want to ask the bride if there is anything that she actually needs. Or if they would rather forego the gift giving.

In the next part of this series we’ll look at who is expected to pay for the shower and who should never host the party.

7 thoughts on “Shower Etiquette #4 – The Responsible Party

  1. Isabel

    I knew this ahead of time before we sat down and started making arrangements. I was the matron for both of my sister’s weddings. That’s what happens when your the better part of a decade older.

  2. Rebeka&Tom

    Thanks for getting back with us. We really appreciated your help. Tom, said that we should just host it like a grill party.

  3. Jodi from the Philippines

    I’ve been exploring your blog for a few days now. We have adopted a lot of the wedding traditions from the US here, bridal showers are one of them. Maybe you want to do a report on them. I’d love to help you.

    1. Mary

      That is a sweet idea, honey, let me see when I have a few minutes and I’ll put a couple questions together for you. Is that alright?

      xo Mary


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